england got knocked out! *gnark* :( it's all doom and gloom over here... but i guess we didn't deserve to win that match anyway - and the tv is back! it feels so good to watch ed again. i love that guy. if the prince william plan doesn't work out, i'm gonna go for him. i'm realistic and down to earth. honest.

well, i'm a boring boring person... so i don't really have much to say... my tv's presence has drained my brain of all constructive thoughts...



i *must* stop reading terry pratchett cos all i ever do is read the same books over and over again. i try and read anything slightly more difficult and my brain shuts down. i'm one of those really sad people that has every single book, all the maps, 'the science of the discworld', the guidebook, the portfolio, and the quizbook. and i wonder why i have no life.

i would hug you (oh, yes, that's YOU - the one sat right there wondering why the hell you are reading this)... but you are too far away

i would kiss you... but you would probably run away, crying. hahaha.

i wish i could be sixteen forever, and see the world as fresh, and beautiful, and mysterious every day when i woke up. i had a grandad who seriously did wake up every morning and feel glad for every single day. he used to say 'god is good' all the time. and his wife had died of cancer in her twenties, his daughter had become blind with meningitis at the age of four, he worked in a factory all his life, frequently had heart attacks and only travelled away from blackburn (to blackpool) once in his life. he thought wales was a town near london. but he was the coolest guy.

i think tolkien really put his finger on it in the silmarillion - 'he gave men the strangest gift of all' - a constant yearning for something else that could never be found on earth. some people are always frustrated because they are always searching. some enjoy the beauty of the search and the unknown. some give up. some are happy with not knowing. who knows, some might even find it.

my dad took the tv away!! and the england/brazil match is tomorrow!! no! please, no! he always does this. he takes the tv into work when important england matches are on and makes his employees bacon sarnies. but i'm his flesh and blood! i missed 'ed'! oh, god... i have just realised how pathetic i truly am. but i love that show.

i found out that my religious studies teacher used to be in a well-known peace-punk band. how bizarre is that? they were on top of the pops, and made 3 albums - 'the lost cherrees'. i think she's quite embarrassed about it. heh heh. i always suspected there was something we didn't know about her - she once told my brother to make spliffs out of bible paper because it's so thin. hmmmmmm.
you can request their songs and others at www.totalpunkradio.com - go go go!

i spent all of today doing silly dances to reel big fish and me first and the gimme gimmes. i love that song #i'd like to thank the guy.../who wrote the so-ong.../that made my baby fall in love with me...# it makes me laugh my ass off every single time.
i desperately need more music. i'm like a hungry hungry... erm... music eater

this summer, i will do stuff. i promise. i will do stuff that no other bored teenager has ever done before. i might even kiss some babies.

'the difference between confusion and "don't know",
is that confusion sees only one way out and the way is blocked;
"don't know" is open to miracles and insights'

~steven levine~

someday, i will make my own quotes and stop recycling the words of others, but not yet. not yet. not yet. (see what i did there? that was out of 'gladiator'. hahaha. i'm so funny. i crack myself up. oh, i'm so great...)
*skips away*

it's over... my exams, my 9 year stint at chetwynde... i can't believe it. i danced out of school like a madwoman yesterday, clicking my heels. i am SO HAPPY. there are all these pessimistic, irritating people at my school that i had to talk to every day - and i never need to see them again! i want to be surrounded by positive, inspiring people that make me want to be exactly where i am. GOODBYE, MRS STONES!!! hahahaha.

i am sad for some people, though... a lad in my class called sam chapman is leaving to go to sixth form in scotland, and we've been in the same class for 9 years... we may not have always talked every day but when we do he makes me laugh and i love him a lot. i guess this is the the time to move on

v nervous... we gotta beat brazil... c'mon, lads

*bites nails*

i bought fair trade coffee so it's ok if i drink it, right?
*laughs nervously*

if you can walk, you can dance
if you can talk, you can sing

my life is one big bad hair day

...the coffee has left my system... *mutters* i don't need coffee, i don't need coffee...

(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;
only something in me understands the voice of your eyes
is deeper than all roses) nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.

~e.e.cummings~

if you are bilingual, do you think in both languages?

what does qed mean?

the most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious

~some guy called einstein~

i'm sorry, all those quotes that point out the world is beautiful and everyone is unique usually make me want to vomit, because we're alive, right? we know. but sometimes your head is empty and the words of others that fill it are comforting

our deepest fear
is not that we are inadequate.
our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
we ask ourselves,
'who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?'
actually, who are you not to be?
you are a child of god.
your playing small doesn't
serve the world.
there is nothing enlightend
about shrinking so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
we were born to make manifest the
glory of god that is within us.
it's not just in some of us;
it's in everyone.
and as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
as we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

~nelson mandela~

nelson is the man

today i had a physics gcse... but i was up till 3... so caffeine was intrumental in keeping me alive. we're out of instant so my best friend became the coffee percalator (? i don't often spell that). well, anyway, this morning it broke and i almost died... i tried to fix my baby, but surprise surprise i'm incompetent at that as well. BUT THEN my mum came in and said 'hey, doesn't that bit go there?' and god smiled on me once more... i love you, mum. so that's the fascinating story of my caffeine addiction...
anyway, i somehow managed to get to school and flunk my way through the exam.
now, i can feel the tension between me and the percalator whenever i enter the kitchen... i feel like a heroin addict whose dealer is holding out on them - i don't wanna get angry with it, because then it would break again and there would be NO MORE COFFEE, so i'm just trying to be really nice, and it's all like 'i'm so great you need me for coffee'

hah! i know! i'll cheat and buy another one. all's fair in love and coffee